


A Lonely Christmas?

by thevalesofanduin



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 14:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thevalesofanduin/pseuds/thevalesofanduin
Summary: This year, Leonard can’t spend the holiday with Jo and instead of taking his mamma up on the offer of staying with her decides to stay on an empty Starfleet campus.So much for a  Merry Christmas, or is it?





	A Lonely Christmas?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a Star Trek holiday exchange on Tumblr.

Christmas, it’s a time that brings good memories for Leonard.

The smell of pine in the air, mixing with the almost spicy aroma of the gingerbread his mama always makes. The sticky sap that clings to his little boy fingers as he hangs ornaments, the cool and tasty dough he lets slide through his hands as he’s mamma’s little helper.

The excitement of waking up on Christmas morning and running down the stairs in flannel PJ’s, his little naked feet a pat-pat-pat down the wooden stairs.

Later, it becomes Jo’s little naked feet padding down the stairs, her eyes big and wide and “daddy look, Santa came!”.

It becomes picking out the best tree with Jo, decorating it together and Leonard sneakily wrapping gifts as Jocelyn keeps Jo busy in the kitchen. And even when his marriage is falling apart right in front of his eyes, Christmas is still special. It’s like a cease-fire where all that matters is to see Jo happy and it’s a time of the year Leonard treasures the most.

Yet not now. Not this year.

This year, he is in San Fran. This year, he’s lost a custody battle that tore all his childhood memories apart. This year, he won’t see Jo.

He hates Jocelyn for denying him the right to see his daughter during the one time he cherishes it most. Yet there is nothing he can do and in the end, he really only has himself to blame.

His mamma asked him to come home regardless but he knows it will only make him feel worse. Being in Georgia without being able to see his little girl, he’d rather spend Christmas break at a nearly empty campus, wallowing in self-pity.

 

\---

 

Christmas doesn’t mean much to Jim.

You need a family to celebrate a family holiday, after all.

It’s not like they didn’t try, back when Sam and he were small, his Nan still alive and his mom still around – and Frank far out of the picture.

But it was too soon, too fresh and Jim will never understand why his father liked Christmas because with his mother never letting him go Jim never got the chance.

There was a tree and gifts and even a grand, home-cooked dinner that resembled merry at some point but the memory of his father hung too heavy in the air.

And then Nan passed, his mom found Frank and no Christmas was ever merry again.

 

\---

 

“So, what are you up to over break?” Jim asks Leonard over drinks the Thursday night _before_ said break.

Neither has brought it up before so it hasn’t been asked but Jim’s curiosity has finally reached tipping point.

So he swirls his drink around his glass and looks up at his friend. “You going back?”

Leonard looks down into his own drink and makes a face. “No, I’m staying,” he mumbles and somehow it feels wrong to say it. To have it out in the open.

“Really?” Jim asks and the frown on his face is echoed strongly in that one word.

Leonard shrugs. “Joss’s got Jo,” he says. “First time since she was born I’m not…” he makes a face as he trails off, taking a big gulp of his drink.

“Oh, shit,” Jim mumbles and pats Leonard’s back before taking a sip of his own drink.

“Yea well, life sucks,” Leonard sighs and leans back against his chair with a sigh. Then he turns his head to watch Jim, asking: “and what are you up to?”

Jim huffs. “Ma is actually _home_ this year, particularly begged me to come back ‘cause it’d be good for the family,” he frowns. “So I was a sucker and said yea sure.”

Leonard shakes his head. “It means you care, Jim. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Yea well, I’d rather I didn’t,” Jim sighs. “Besides, if I’d known you’d be here by yourself I would’ve stayed.”

“I’ll be fine Jim,” Leonard says, giving Jim a small smile.

“Sure you’ll be,” Jim rolls his eyes and points his glass at Leonard, “doesn’t mean you gotta be alone.”

“You get to spend some time with your family, see if there’s anything…” Leonard hesitates for a moment and then decides they know each other well enough to be honest. So he continues: “anything left to rescue. That’s important too.”

Jim snorts. “Dude, if it wasn’t for blood I’d say _you_ are family to me more than my own Ma. You do realize that, right?”

Leonard smiles in return and nods. “Yea Jim, I do. Right back at ya.”

Leonard holds out his glass and Jim taps his against it, the both of them taking a big sip afterwards.

 

\---

 

A few days later, Jim comes over to Leonard’s room to do some last-minute studying for their last exam the day after.

When Leonard lets him in, Jim looks around the room with a small frown.

“What?” Leonard asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Where’s your tree?” Jim asks as he drops himself down onto the couch.

“As in Christmas tree?” Leonard makes his way over to his bookshelf and retrieves two PADD’s and some notes before making his way to the couch. “Why would I need one? Not like I’m celebrating this year.”

Jim waves a hand around the room. “Not even to get into the mood? Come on, Bones, I _know_ you like Christmas.”

Leonard sighs heavily, _tiredly_ and he fixes Jim with what comes close to a glare as he says: “I have _fond_ memories of Christmas but why would I put up a tree if it just reminds me I don’t have my little girl around to help me decorate it?”

“Shit, okay that was… I’m sorry, Bones.”

“It’s okay,” Leonard grunts and dumps one of the PADD’s in Jim’s lap. “Let’s study.”

Jim doesn’t bring up Christmas again.

 

\---

 

Most people leave the day after the exam which is just as well, because Christmas Eve is only two days away.

Leonard buries himself in a long night shift at the campus hospital first and then in his bed after so he doesn’t have to actually _see_ the campus emptying.

All those happy faces of people going home to see their families.

He feels himself choke up just thinking about it – about Joanna in her Christmas sweater and those ridiculous antlers on her head and her cheeks rosy from excitement. So he tries to sleep it off before getting up for another shift.

By the time Christmas Eve rolls around he’s _almost_ forgotten it’s Christmas and the campus is empty.

He’d requested to work, to fill a shift for someone who actually wanted to be home for Christmas but apparently he’s not the only one stuck here for the holidays so his boss had just shook her head and told him to have a good steak and a stiff drink or something.

He’s not so sure about the steak, but Leonard’s dead-set on having that drink.

He’s just a bit afraid that if he starts with one he won’t be able to stick with it.

Well, he tells himself, you’re just going to have to behave. You’ve got a call with Jo tomorrow – because Jocelyn granted him that at the very least.

He comes back to his room and sighs heavily as he drops his bag down next to the door.

It’s empty and bleak because _of course_ it is.

He’s the idiot that wanted to pretend Christmas doesn’t actually exist.

By the time he comes out of the shower he’s _not_ feeling better.

He thought he might wash away his sad longing with the hot water but instead he just feels worse.

It’s lonely, knowing he’ll only get to talk to his little girl for maybe an hour – if he’s lucky – tomorrow and he thinks he’s a darned idiot for not taking his mother up on her offer.

But it’s too late for that now and he’s not going to bother her by calling her all pitifully from San Francisco. Not when he knows she’s with her sister and her family enjoying some good food and watching the kids unwrap their presents.

He’s about to turn the oven on to heat himself a pizza – a real one, it’s Christmas after all he thinks bitterly – when his phone chimes.

He frowns and picks it up being greeted by a message from Jim.

_Hey Bones, Merry Christmas. Hope you’re not getting yourself drunk already… I think I forgot to turn off my lights when I left this morning can you please, please check cause I really don’t wanna pay for that electricity bill :( thanks Bones, you’re the best!_

“You infant,” Leonard mumbles at the phone as if Jim can hear it and he rolls his eyes with a loud sigh as he goes to find his shoes.

It’s not as if he’s got anything better to do.

_You’re such a child. Forgot to turn off your lights? Really?_ He texts back as he slips into his coat and leaves his own small apartment to go down to Jim’s.

_I was in a rush!_

_Sure_ Leonard sends back. And then _how’s Riverside?_ not because he thinks Jim’s having a good time but because he’ll at least give his friend an opening to rant if he needs one.

_Exactly as I expected_

Leonard’s heart goes out to Jim and really, he sees now that perhaps he doesn’t have it that bad.

Of course he feels beyond gutted he can’t spend time with his little girl but there’s always next year. He’ll get _ten_ lawyers if he has to but next year he’ll get to spend Christmas with her. Or Thanksgiving. Or her birthday. _Any_ day.

He takes a shuddering breath and forces himself to reread Jim’s message. At least _his_ family cares, unlike Jim’s…

_Although they’re trying_ , a voice in the back of his mind speaks up and trying is a whole lot more than whatever shit Jocelyn is pulling at the moment.

“Fuck this,” he mumbles with a sniffle.

Here he is outside on his way to Jim’s apartment ready to cry, how pathetic is he?

_Wanna talk?_ he sends back to Jim because maybe having a chat with his friend will take his mind off of things.

_Kinda busy now_ Jim replies in an instant.

Leonard sighs and looks for the key to Jim’s apartment in his pocket. When he finds it he shoots Jim back a quick _sure, maybe later_ before opening the door.

Jim’s door slides open and indeed, like he’d said the lights are on.

Leonard raises his eyes to the ceiling with a sigh and is about to reach out for the light-switch when he sees not only are the lights on, from the red glow coming from around the corner Jim’s also forgotten to switch off the lights of his –

Leonard’s thoughts stop the moment he steps into Jim’s flat.

Behind him, the door slides close and he’s left in Jim’s apartment.

Jim’s fully decorated apartment with the lights on, the lights in the Christmas tree on and jazzy Christmas music playing.

He thought it had come from the neighbors but now that the door is closed he knows it’s Jim’s.

He turns to his right when he catches movement and there in the tiny kitchen-corner stands Jim with a hesitant smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas Bones,” he greets with a small wave.

For a moment Leonard just stands there. Then he lets his eyes fall over the room again and he shakes his head with a laugh. “Christ, kid…”

At Leonard’s reaction, Jim laughs. “Surprise?”

“So that thing about going back to Riverside…” Leonard asks with a raised eyebrow, trying to look upset at being lied to but he’s certain the happiness is still visible on his face.

“Oh no that was true,” Jim says and then shrugs. “But I cancelled and decided to stay here with you instead.”

Leonard’s in front of Jim in a few quick strides and he pulls his friend into a tight hug. “Thanks Jim,”

“My pleasure Bones,” Jim says and hugs back. “My pleasure.”

 

\---

 

Later that evening, after some amazing steak, they sit down on the couch with glasses of Bourbon in their hands.

“What’s with the gifts?” Leonard asks.

“Ah,” Jim chuckles, looking slightly embarrassed. “They’re, ehm, decoration only.”

Leonard snorts. “You put fake presents under the tree?”

“Hey, I wanted to get the mood right!” Jim argues.

“My God, Jim, you’re one of a kind,” Leonard laughs and clasps his friend’s shoulder with a happy twinkle in his eyes. “Don’t ever change.”

And if Leonard has a headache from having too much Bourbon the next day when he’s talking with Joanna, he thinks it’s totally worth it because Christmas is not so bad this year after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://thevalesofanduin.tumblr.com/) <3


End file.
